“Something I find troubling is a lot of people won’t even consider going out with somebody who has different political views,” says Safer. Grant Langston, CEO of eHarmony, says that it’s absolutely possible to date someone who has differing political views. “But plenty of couples find satisfaction with their partners of different political views, and even have successful marriages.”
Don’t: Intend to Change Your Partner’s Mind
In this American Perspectives Survey, we aim to better understand Americans’ experiences with dating in the modern era and how politics informs some of the most personal decisions we make. While it might be possible to agree to disagree, matchmakers say different political views tend to be a dealbreaker for many couples they work with. “Sometimes people think they’re farther apart than they really are,” says Chlipala.
Power and confidence is sexy
Or maybe you want someone who will be your political partner-in-crime — who will go to protests with you, get riled up with you when Trump says something outlandish, travel the country and make awesome documentaries with you. You’re allowed to want who you want, which means you’re allowed to break up with someone who doesn’t serve your needs, even if those needs are political. Langston compares differing political views to any other difference.
In that time, she’s tried to not confuse Republican leaders’ views with those of her spouse. Whether you chose to remain with a politically-opposite partner, or whether you decide to end things due to irreconcilable beliefs, it’s a good idea to seek therapy. Knowing what you truly cannot tolerate is important when discussing politics with a partner – current or potential.. Keep the debate civil by not raising your voice, not interrupting your partner, and by staying on-topic rather than bringing up multiple subjects .. It’s a sign of disrespect when you do these things, and disrespect has no place in a relationship. “Empathy allows you to understand and your partner’s values without shifting your own,” says Cooper.
It might be important to them, but it doesn’t dig into their moral fibers. More recently, researchers have discovered structural brain differences between conservatives and liberals that back this up. Conservative brains have more volume in the amygdala — the part of our brain that is related to emotional and fear-based learning. Their amygdalas fired at a greater rate than their democratic counterparts. The attractive force of difference may have biological roots.
My grandma was a lifelong Democrat, but she was married to my grandfather for 60 years, and he was a staunch conservative. You might get frustrated with your politician because he is never home. When he is home he is always busy drafting some new bill or whatnot for the town council meeting.
My own situation is a perfect example of the complexity of politics, and subsequently, our mannerisms toward partisanship. So— both involve lowering taxes (something often seen as “conservative”), but only one involves a fundamental difference in values. For the most part, partisans are very likely to say they would consider being in a relationship with someone of their own party or who voted for their party’s 2016 candidate. Even so, 13% of Democrats say they would not consider being in a relationship with someone who voted for Hillary Clinton.
You’ll never run out of things to talk about
Despite all of this evidence that we really shouldn’t be searching for a version of ourselves to woo, the most common way that Americans find partners these days—websites and apps—are smorgasbords of sameness. Algorithms allow people to find dates like themselves with brutal efficiency. It might make for fewer disputes, but loveconnectionreviews.com in searching for your doppelgänger, you might be overlooking the people who complement you, psychologically and even physically. Although the differences can become the main focus of the relationship, couples have to remember that whatever outweighs the other — whether good or bad — has to be what leads the relationship.
Discussing things with someone whose viewpoint is miles from yours can help you arrive at your own informed opinion. “There is plenty of evidence that people are prioritizing politics in a way they didn’t before, in both friendship and dating,” said Daniel A. Cox, a research fellow in polling at the American Enterprise Institute. Dating someone with different values from you can be difficult, but it also has the potential to make you a much more flexible person. If you’re looking to start a serious relationship that has a high probability of lasting a long time, you should consider dating a Republican. The way a person votes offers a pretty accurate reflection of his or her inherent values.
We can’t tell you whether or not politics is a moral issue for you or just something that you can agree and disagree with people on without judging their moral character for their different views. But, this is the key to figuring out if you can date someone from a different political party. But, as time has gone on, it seems that more people are actively getting involved in politics. Unfortunately, a lot of those people are adopting the “stick in the mud” stance on everything. If you don’t believe us, go on Facebook or social media and see if you can find anyone convincing someone to change their mind on anything political related. Where we’d like to start our discussion is helping you to decide if you’re in a good position to date someone with different political views.
If that person has held their political views for many years it is unlikely that you will change their minds. Drawing from personal experiences, again, is all that I can offer due to the lack of documentable bipartisan couples that I could find. Having explicitly conversed about politics with people I’m interested in, I’ve very quickly realized that I may be able to endure some opposition when it comes to the political ideology of my romantic interests. Generally, though, we strive to reinforce our own political beliefs, values, and morals.
Forty-one percent say it would be difficult, but not impossible. Close to half of Americans say it would not be that difficult to date someone who disagrees with them on climate change. And yes, political views can be a reflection of morals, values, beliefs. Our core values sit beneath our politics and inform them and our life choices together. If you’ve recently found yourself disagreeing with your partner due to differing political opinions, don’t throw in the towel just yet. Remember that understanding can take you pretty far, and as long as both of you are committed to being empathetic toward one another, you’ll have a better chance of moving forward in your relationship.
Not every couple with opposing political views can end up like Mary Matalin and James Carville. For some, politics can turn out to be a deal-breaker, and that is fine. However, if you find yourself pursuing a relationship with someone who is politically different than you, communication is going to be more important than ever. Don’t be afraid to talk to each other about your opinions and ask questions if you want to know more. The key is to always be respectful of each other’s thoughts and feelings.